The Fairer Sex
by clouddreamzz
Summary: Something Mr Schue unintentionally blurts out has Rachel setting her sights elsewhere. Set during the episode Ballad. Warning: Femslash
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Fairer Sex [1/?]

Something Mr Schue unintentionally blurts out has Rachel setting her sights elsewhere. Set during the episode Ballad.

* * *

After ordering Rachel to put her seatbelt back on, Will let out a sigh as he thought of a way to steer the conversation away from ballads.

Or, more particularly, the ballad that Rachel had prepared specifically for him.

A ballad where his **young**, female **student** was trying to convey certain emotions that he really didn't want being conveyed.

_How did it get like this anyways?_

His thoughts halted for a moment before the answer came to mind.

_Oh yes, Matt had a spider in his ear._

Will almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it all.

Almost.

He could only hope that this didn't become another Suzy Peppers incident.

_Or worse_, he thought after some trepidation.

"So," Will began before taking a breath in preparation (for the main event), "How's it going with Puck? Are you guys still seeing each other?"

Maybe if they talked about people more Rachel's age, then there was less likely a chance of her professing her undying love for him. Or, more realistically, this change of topic will allow him to continue to dodge Rachel's (very creepy) attempts – expressions of love she probably believes.

_Seriously, I cannot believe Terri let Rachel in the house just to coerce the girl into doing some household chores!_

Of course, Will conveniently forgot the fact that Rachel was, in actuality, very willing to do as Terri asked – anything really that would benefit one Mr William Schuester.

"I broke things off," Rachel answered, breaking Will's train of thought. And as she finished with buckling herself in, Rachel immediately straightened her posture before carrying on with the current conversation. "He was too immature. As are all the boys in high school."

Will didn't fail to notice the (horribly-done) furtive glances Rachel began giving him as she continued with her explanations.

"I need a man who can keep up with me intellectually and creatively."

Rachel had said that with so much finality – and oh god those looks! – that Will felt like bursting into tears.

Of course, they'd be manly tears.

Nothing feminine about that.

_Okay_, Will thought as his mind took a (very much needed) breather. _That… didn't go exactly as I'd hoped._

Instead his attempts at the (hopefully fruitful) conversation swerved and unexpectedly – maybe less unexpectedly and more instantaneously? – crashed into the other side of the spectrum. Will knew that Rachel could be a bit – read: majorly – stubborn. And it might take a tad of a more confrontational approach to shake the girl from her… obsession of him.

Oh, who was he kidding.

He was soft – Sue knows it, he knows it!

And when he tried to be more forceful – singing can be forceful! – on Rachel's inappropriate feelings, her crush on him seemed to have multiplied.

Exponentially.

Now, more than ever, Rachel appeared quite intent on having him at the center of her entire focus. And he knew firsthand from Glee how determined Rachel can be on what she wanted.

_Oh God, she knows where I live! _

He might as well kiss his teaching career goodbye right now. It wouldn't take long for Sue to sense the disturbance in the Glee force.

If she had a chance to demolish someone (**especially **him) she'd do it and eradicate any poor souls that was within bombing distance. It was just in her nature.

Will felt the sudden urge to start banging his head on the steering wheel.

Opting to recompose himself, Will tried to comment back to keep the car from falling into one of those awkward silences. Or worse, allowing Rachel Berry a chance to monologue.

"Well, that's a..." he manages to utter for a moment before continuing, "Tough road for most high school boys."

Crap, he shouldn't have said that.

Instinctually Will tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he began looking (almost frantically) at the scenery through his car windows. All the while he wondered (desperately) if they were almost there at Rachel's place.

No.

Such.

Luck.

The surge of adrenaline still high in his body, Will's mind filtered through as many thoughts as possible on his most recent (and reoccurring) predicament.

What was with all the schoolgirl crushes he's garnered since his teaching career at William McKinley High?

Was it the thought of being in such a scandalous affair?

Or the idea of being involved with a man, someone who's older and more experienced?

Suzy Peppers was a rather unfortunate incident, but Rachel was coming close to topping Suzy as the worse.

And that mash-up he sung earlier after school to Rachel certainly didn't help matters. In fact, the (stay-away-from-me) song seemed to have encourage the young girl in her pursuit of a more than friendly relationship with him.

_Oh God. Why does it always have to be a man?_

A man whom young girls seemed to have stuck in their brains as possibly being more sensitive, more romantic, and more exciting to be with.

So lost in his mental ramblings, Will failed to realized that maybe he blurted out that last question of his a bit too vocally. Nor does he seem to realize the effect it was having on Rachel.

When Will finally realized that no words were springing forth from his usually active passenger, he had already stopped the car and Rachel was already getting out. Apparently they had just arrived at their destination, the previous time passing by quite quickly and uninterrupted due to his mind's distractions.

Will watched as Rachel continued in her task, seemingly in a daze.

It wasn't often – if ever – that Rachel kept quiet on any matter she felt important enough to be discussed upon.

But all Rachel had done was softly mumble a barely audible 'thank you' and 'goodbye' before shutting the car door.

And Will had said nothing in reply as he continued to watch the girl approach and finally enter her house.

The moment Rachel's house door closed shut Will's eyes snapped forward.

_Oh God, I hope she's not planning something._

-End Chapter One-

* * *

A/N: So that was like my first femslash ever! Please be gentle.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The Fairer Sex [2/?]

Something Mr Schue unintentionally blurts out has Rachel setting her sights elsewhere. Set during the episode Ballad.

* * *

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The only thing I do own is my imagination of things that will probably never ever happen. Still, a girl can dream.

* * *

Rachel had spent a majority of the previous night researching certain topics after Mr Schue had kindly dropped her off back at home.

He had brought up – however unintentionally it might have been – an excellent point that she felt needed to be expounded upon.

As a result, Rachel found herself incredibly lacking in the sleep department, but although her head was kind of fuzzy at the moment it was also filled to the brim with newfound knowledge.

And she did what she did best when acquiring newfound knowledge.

She had created a PowerPoint.

An exceptionally, well detailed PowerPoint that pointed out the pros and cons between the two genders. Step-by-step instructions were also included on how one should approach an individual of a specific gender in the hopes of dating him, or her.

_One should never limit oneself, especially if I'm going to become a star._

Of course, the creation of the PowerPoint proved to be somewhat of a moot point as the one who required (and would most benefit from) such quickly researched and organized information was herself.

And she couldn't very well present her own personally created PowerPoint to herself now.

_Or can I?_

Rachel quickly shook her head to rid herself of that ridiculous notion of a thought.

She was all kinds of loopy this morning.

The lack of a proper eight-hour sleep must be getting to her.

Luckily Rachel spotted her locker not so far off from her current position in the school hallway. And with the few steps it took, Rachel acted promptly in storing away all materials that she wouldn't need until later on in the day.

Amongst them was a recently made CD, which was clearly marked – gold handwriting really helps in making things stand out – "The Male and Female Dynamics".

Having all that she currently required, Rachel prepared to shut her locker door before carrying on with her merry (yet slightly delusional) way.

Or, that was the idea until she couldn't help but notice the two very familiar Cheerios nearby.

So instead she ducked behind her locker door before quickly surveying the area to see if anyone had noticed her odd behavior.

A couple of passersby had given her strange looks but continued on their way.

_Excellent. No one's noticed._

Edging slightly from behind her cover, Rachel risked a glance at the two girls.

After a peculiar absence of insults she had expected to be hurled in her immediate location, Rachel took a chance.

She began to practically eyeball the usually smirking Cheerios.

Her sights first landed upon Santana and she felt an unsettling discomfort begin to dwell. The Latina never failed to insult her deemed unworthy appearance and delighted from every opportunity. Trying to look at the girl now in another light would have been difficult, not to mention awkward.

Unless she suddenly developed some variant form of Stockholm syndrome, Rachel didn't think she was going to view Santana much differently.

At least, right away anyways.

Rachel believed in second chances.

If it wasn't for the girl's tendency for… non-peaceful ways, Rachel was sure she would enjoy it if and when the girl (nondeceptively) smiled.

Repeat: Smile, not smirk.

Smirking usually implied that a slushie somewhere was currently hurtling its way towards her. So Santana smirking resulted in Rachel's conditioned response of steeling herself to not flinch when the expected icy coldness finally finds its way on her.

_Santana's bad_, Rachel thought in an almost singsong voice.

Her mind froze for a bit as she wondered why exactly she had thought of that in such a strange tone.

…_._

Anyways, skipping Santana's lovely form, Rachel let her eyes briefly settle on Brittany – the lesser (and somewhat kinder) of the two evils.

Briefly quickly extended to minutes, which then extended to outright staring.

Of course, try as she might – which she wasn't really – Rachel's observation of the blonde girl didn't go as quite unnoticed as she (probably would have) hoped. This she was quickly reminded of when the blonde's fiery Latina companion suddenly turned and made her way towards Rachel.

Santana promptly followed that up with the act of slamming Rachel's locker door shut.

_Great fury!_

Rachel thanked her nth number of lucky gold stars; she'd lost count after the first few batches she bought from a local store.

If she hadn't jumped back in response to Santana's stampede of promised death, then she'd probably be missing some fingers right about now.

"Eyes to yourself hobbit," Santana practically snarled, never once breaking from her (very angry) strides past Rachel.

If she wasn't so frightened that the (very violent) girl might actually turn around and bitch slap her one, Rachel might have commented back in a joking tone that the girl was acting in a manner befitting of someone who's jealous.

Naturally – in an instinctual desire for the preservation of her well-being – Rachel settled with watching the Latina march off in a huff. And when she felt she could properly breath once more, Rachel looked the other direction only to be startled once more.

Brittany had gotten (really, really) close when Rachel was distracted with ensuring herself that Santana didn't double back in an attempt to end her life – and not to mention her life-long singing career!

And startled as she was, Rachel jumped like a scared rabbit and eyes wide with crazy alertness. Of course, Brittany took the cause for the response as a different matter.

"Don't mind S, she's just grumpy today."

_As opposed to any other day?_

Wow. She gets really snarky when she's sleep deprived.

"It's alright. In Santana's defense I did observe you two far longer than considered appropriate for social norms."

She may be sleep deprived, but like heck was she going to admit to flat out staring at Brittany. Better to confess – a little fudging never hurts – to observing the two girls interact instead.

Besides, she wasn't quite lying… completely. Looking at Brittany was somewhat like looking at Santana as well. The two never seemed to be too far apart from one another.

_Act calm. Act cool._

Her nerves a bit jittery at the moment, Rachel didn't notice Brittany's slight vacant stare. Nor the short silence that followed before the blonde replied.

"You meant you were staring, right?"

Rachel only bit her lower lip – not too hard though! – as her already frayed nerves began to spike. She remained silent for a few moments longer before she came with what she thought was an adequate reply.

"I suppose you could say I was… staring… in layman's terms." Rachel almost physically – because mentally she did – winced at the fact that Brittany managed to catch her in the act as well.

_Not one but two Cheerios!_

All Rachel could do now was try to explain.

So she talked. Excessively. And used really big words as she did so!

"I'm sorry. It's just that I haven't really noticed before – or maybe I just didn't truly take the time – but you're quite aesthetically pleasing. I must admit that I'm a smidge envious of your body form, which I can tell has been well developed from years of dancing." Rachel would have continued with her babbling were it not for the (oh so very familiar) glazed look that fell across the blonde's eyes.

Stopping to take a deep breath, Rachel confessed her thoughts in the clearest way possible.

"I think you're beautiful Brittany." And then Rachel smiled, though a bit shyly. She really hoped that the tall blonde would appreciate what she just admitted to.

And then that hope was quickly dashed when Rachel finally realized what she just said and did.

All Rachel could hope for now was a quick and smooth getaway. So she hurriedly turned away, and then turned back, only to turn away again.

Of course, the manners Daddy drilled into her kicked in and Rachel mentally searched for a valid explanation on her sudden decision for departing.

_Which will happen if Santana finds out about this conversation!_

Rachel managed to mumble some gibberish about… something before giving a quick 'goodbye' and power walked – definitely not sprinting – away a few seconds later. She was (disturbingly) off her game today.

_What was I thinking? Or, better yet, what was with the lack of thinking?_

It was like she was channeling Finn or something.

Who knew what other nonsensical things she'll sprout out without regards to the repercussions.

She was never going to pull an all-nighter **ever again**.

Before she could pray to the Great Streisand for the avoidance any more embarrassing situations the first school bell of the day had rung.

And, oh look, out popped one Suzy Peppers.

_Sweet Barbra Streisand! Why is everyone just appearing out of nowhere?_

"Stay away from him," Suzy stated before taking a step closer and continuing, "You're gonna get hurt… bad."

"You can't threaten me, Pepper. I'm not afraid of you," Rachel backfired before mentally patting herself on the back.

_Ha! Take that Suzy Peppers! No one threatens Rachel Berry!_

"You should be."

Rachel only rolls her eyes at that response before strutting off past the bespectacled girl. Suzy Peppers obviously didn't know whom she was dealing with exactly.

And her day just seemed to be getting better and better.

She was being sarcastic of course.

Besides that little encounter with Peppers and that big encounter with Brittany, Rachel was sure that the day couldn't possibly get any worse.

So Rachel put on the famous Berry smile as she became determined to allow only optimistic thoughts to enter her mind. But, of course, she couldn't help the one bad thought that strayed in.

_Oh Barbra, I hope I don't die today with Santana's foot down my throat._

-End Chapter Two-

* * *

A/N: Rachel is a bit – okay, maybe majorly – OOC here in this chapter, but I blame her odd duck act partially on the fact that she did pull an all-nighter. In my defense, I do get a bit twitchy and strange thoughts start flowing through my mind once I lose a night of sleep. And the other reason for Rachel's OOC-ness is that I wouldn't mind watching a quirky Rachel on Glee even if it is from sleep deprivation.


End file.
